Hey people, today I hit a road block. Got home from a long day at work and just wanted to sit. And today started that lovely time of month where I cry at toilet paper commercials and sleep all the time. So today was just a diet day. I don't like to workout late at night because it will just make me stay up all night.
But today I felt like every other day when I don't want to be home. I really really wish I had my own place. Living with my parents can be difficult at times. I feel like the magazine on the coffee table isn't the end of the world but when I'm in the middle of getting ready for work or doing something on my computer, I HAVE to move it or the whole wide world will blow up if I don't. Another thing is, I like to do laundry by myself and when no one is home, which is rare because lately I don't have days off. Because if I leave it alone and go upstairs, someone aka my Dad puts it in the dryer and then some of my clothes shrink. I am confined to my room most of the time because I know if I go out there a fight will ensue or I will have to do a non important thing (in my eyes) that very second or the fate of the free world will be over if I don't.
It makes it difficult to be motivated about myself when I don't want to leave my room. And to top it all off I just paid a $300 student loan bill and it makes me so mad because I could be using that $300 for rent or bills at my own apartment. What was the use of going to college just to work part time?! And I can't get full time at my job, even though I would like to, because of my student loans! I can't work more than 29 hours a week or else I can't get the reduced amount. And $300 is not reduced, the reduction only lasts a year and then you have to re apply. And so with my student loans all averaging about $390 a month, which makes me sick, I am still at home...indefinitely. I know most people are in the same boat as me, but you don't live with my Dad. Everyone has their issues with their parents and I know I have mine, it just gets a little overwhelming when I don't see eye to eye with him all the time. Which makes me want to down some cheese fries and a chocolate shake.
But back to me, today I ate very healthy. Breakfast: yogurt and an apple. Lunch: salad with Italian dressing, and for dinner: eggplant Parmesan. snacks: half a bag of light pop corn and peanut butter with graham crackers. I have been looking online at different recipes for me to try, but another thing is, I like to do that by myself. Or my mom will be looking over my shoulder at all times making sure I'm doing it right or if she can help. If I already know how to make something, I don't mind but if it's something new I don't want to screw up in front of anyone. I want to make breakfasts that I can freeze and then the night before I have to work I can take it out and have it be ready to go the next morning. I also want to make new dinners because I feel in this house we make the same things over and over again and maybe not the healthiest.
But tomorrow needs to be back on track. I need to make myself better and not worry about my other problems. I do always have to keep working on myself and my relationships with my parents but I need to focus on my healthy living. It's just so hard when all I wanna do now is sleep and cry because the bear can't get the toilet paper off his butt.
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